THE MIRACLE WOULD NEVER STOP

Hi Guys, missed me ?

Well, for my writing today, I try to write it in english version without anyone help. I hope I won’t make mistake, though. And for my english buddies, please don’t laugh. Still, this is my first step to begin my big vision “Going International”, so that everyone in every place in this world  could read my blog and I could share the Glorious of God to the world.

Okay, back to the topic “The Miracle Would never Stop”, I don’t know about you guys, but what my life, is a life that never get easy to live. A life that I have to walk day by day with every struggle, with every fight and with every battle to win. Is that obvious, that what life is.

I got a new job by the way, an accounting lecture, and for me it was a miracle, though. It was a miracle because I was actually not worth for that job. But with this job, at least I can move on with my own money, I’m proud I can earn my money now and not asking from my mom and dad again for grant my needs. I even could buy a birthday gift for my little brother with my own money. Well, it’s not a lot of money that I earn but its quite enough for everything that I need.

Getting the new job not answering what my hope really is. The truth is I HATE MY JOB ! I’m grateful for my job, I do. But this not what I want, not that I don’t want to work hard, this all just not my thing, I don’t choose this job in the first place. I’m not good in accounting, though. I was in a wrong major, and now I’m like stuck in a place that I shouldn’t belong. The reason I take this job is to get move on with my life, but I don’t have passion on it.

Now, should I blame God for this ? 

Guys, when I said my life was not easy and it is not easy, I was raise by a single mother, that had to acted as a mother also a father. My dad had passed away since when I was 4, it was not an easy life because I didn’t have a father figure. All I know my mom had to work to earn the money and didn’t had time to taking care of me. And sometimes I got jealous with another kids a.k.a my friends when they was picked up home from school with their dad. And the crazy part, I was the only child and I grew up alone and with my busy mom being a father. Yeah, I look so pathetic. But the good news is “hello, I still alive ..”

I realize I’ve been so useless living my life. Well, it so obvious because I had choose the wrong major when I went to college and I didn’t learn it very well. It was long ago away when I haven’t met my Greatest Mighty Amazing Lord God, Jesus Christ.

Enough for the intro and let me share something that you guys should learn from my mistake IF you really want to have a good life and achieve your dreams.

This not the story of my life, it just the story of God has created us beautifully in the first place. How God show His love in our life, how God never fail on giving the best in our life, how God show His Greatness and how God won’t ever give up on us.

I was born as a Christian, but I was not a good Christian at all. I went to church but I still done the wrong things, I even pray to God when I needed something. So early in 2011, I realized that my life was a messed, whatever I did was wrong, if I want something, I got it in a wrong way, then I realized it didn’t satisfied me. Then entering 2011, I asked my self, what I really want, what is my goal ?!  That year I realized I got 25 for my age, and I was jobless, I still studied in my master degree. I can see at that time, my mom felt that I was a failure. Not just my mom, everyone member of my famiy saw me as a failure, even I did thought that I was a failure. I didn’t had hope, I screwed my life and I just born to be a pathetic girl. 

25 years old and I was nothing but a looser at that time. Until someone told me “Life without Jesus is nothing”. And it was the year I found Jesus in my life. The year I made covenant with God. The year I build my my life again with every hopes and every wishes in it. It was a good year, I saw miracles. Slowly, I felt my life changed. Like God released the Israel from the bondage of the Egypt, so did my life was released from every stupid thing I used to do. I could use my money wisely, I could filter my friends and the important thing was, I know what I want and I know where would I go. I felt complete !

It hasn’t stop until there actually, this is the prime thing I would share. I found Jesus in my life, I felt free, I saw miracles, but the question is, am I done ? is that the end of the road ?

Getting a new job without an official certificate actually one of a million miracle that God had gave to me. Even there are a lot of people out there with their certificate but they still jobless. I’m so blessed and I’m so grateful of that, I do. Even I know it was not that easy as it looks. 

The day I got the job, I promise my self that I wanted to give the best. I knew I was not good in real accounting but i wanted to learn. I remember when I read “if someone asking you walk in one mile, then walk in two mile..”

I want to walk two mile, I asked God, how I could walk in two mile in my job ? Then God remind me,  I am walking two mile, though. While everyone in my office work one mile because it is their field, they are expert in accounting and they have experience in lecturer. If they ask me to write like a journalist or even to preach, or to motivate people, I can easily done it, because it is my thing, that’s what my life for.

I walk in two mile, it means I’m not just prepare the slide presentation for lecturing, but I have to learn it more about the material that I would teach. When people in my office read the books in only one hour, I must read the books in five hours or more. Well, it not just I have to struggle with the lecturer thing, I also have to face the circumstances in my office, all the pressure, all the deadlines, the critics, the people. To be honest, physically I give up and mentally I’m broken. And sometimes I got stressed to death !

In every prayer, I don’t know how much tears I dropped. I lost my community, I lost my friends, this job makes me like a nerd. This job is so much away from my dreams. See, even I have pray every morning, every night, everyday, every moment, I still walk through the desert. Should I complain ? I’m trying to not.

While I almost lost my vision, while I almost gave up on my dreams and my goals, God never lost me and He never gave up on me. God reminds me in Deuteronomy 1:29-31 “Then I said to you. Do not dread them nor be afraid of them. (30) The Lord your God who goes before you shall fight for you, according to all that He did for You in Egypt before your eyes, (31) and in the wilderness where you have seen how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, in all the way that you went until you came into this place.”

Here is my favorite part “Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his daughter, in all the way that you went until you came into this place”. Well, I prefer to read it with “the daughter” because I am His daughter, but don’t meant to change the word of God.

Anyway, this is my last part of this writing. Remember the story how God with His Greatness brought the Israel out from the Egypt ?! The Israel saw all the miracles that God had did to took them out from Egypt. They had saw how amazingly God answered their prayer and rid the Israel from the bondage of the Egypt and brought them to the promise land. But when they entered the desert, they started to complain, they lost their faith, they lost their vision and their goal. They started to leave God behind, they even made another god for them to worshiped

If we read again to the next verse of Deuteronomy 1:32-33 “Yet in this thing you did not believe the Lord God, (33) who went in the way before you to search you out a place to pitch your tents, in fire by night to show you by what way should go, and in cloud by day.”

This morning, in the middle of my hopeless to reach my dreams and my big vision, I found a way to get my faith back. I have seen every miracle since I made a choice to put God in a first place and Jesus is my first love. But it’s not a guarantee that I would not get a problem. I am entering the desert now but I knew I’m walking through it, not live in it. 

God never promise us to  have life without problems, He never promise  that our life would free from tears or sort of. But one thing that He promise us, that He will never leave us. And when He said He never leave us, it means we will see a river in the middle of the desert, we will not get starve while we walking through the desert. And the important thing, when He said He will never leave us, it means we will make it through the desert and enjoying the promise land with God.

God promise us to be a winner or even more than a winner, but we will never be a winner if we not get into the battle field. What is your battle field ? Is it your future, your dream, your family, your job, your finance, your debt ?? whatever is our battle field, hang on there guys, God never leave us. Always remember, one person with God is an army and a winner ! 

Oh, by the way, I will not give up on my dreams, because I know the miracle would never stop. Don’t loose your faith, guys. 

Well, it’s all for this writing. I hope it could be blessed for you all and see you in another awesome story of God, though.